Jack Keller : Our Good Dog Jack

DEWEY
Pet owners -- Psychology.
Pets -- Death -- Psychological aspects.
Bereavement -- Psychological aspects.
Grief.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 12:59 AM
Library Girl

THE KILLING
Chapter 1

All of us feel so much guilt but you know - there is/was nothing anyone can do. I was about to take the kids to 7-11 and the dog pushed his way out the door and ran across idlehour boulevard to the big white pillar that stands on the corner to sniff and leave his mark. The kids and I were getting into the car. As soon as he spotted us (i knew that as soon as we open the car doors he'd want to come with us) he dashed back across the street . . . I heard the thump - immediately Maggie, the kindergarterner SCREAMED. Shane took off into the house to get his Dad. It was all just one hour before they were supposed to go to the airport to pick up their mom, my best friend, Kathleen.

I grabbed the lifeless dog out of the middle of the street. There seemed to be cars coming from every direction. I just couldn't let him get run over. I got blood all over me and had to lay him down on the side of the lawn. I just don't remember anything after that . . . I rushed toward the house to wash my hands? Was Holly still in the backseat of my car? Did the stranger get Holly (the three year old) out of the car? The next memory I have is Maggie was wailing, her dad was carrying her. On the front porch, the stranger was holding Holly. Holly needed me but she wouldn't come to me because I had blood all over me . . . . I had left the dog out there . . . he was going to die . . . I hate myself that I didn't stay with him as he passed . . . .

I stayed inside with the girls and Maggie just wailed and wailed. Shane had locked himself in the bathroom. The stranger and her daughter were in the house, having a tour of the renovations. Her condolences not genuine, in fact they were condescending. Maggie buried herself in the pillows. The entire time we thought that Pat was burying the dog so we could visit his grave . . . . . . .

BEFORE THE TRUTH
Chapter 2
Instead of burying the dog . . . . the men actually disposed of Jack !!! I feel so horrible about that.


My best friend thinks they buried him in a deep hole !!!!!!! She was concerned that he was lonely and cold in the night. I can't tell her the truth !!!! I wish I stayed with the dog myself and took better care of him. Many people hated the dog but we (few of us) really really loved him. He deserves a proper burial.

Everyone needs to go through their own mourning . . work out their own feelings . . . . everyone has different reactions . . . guilt anger . . . ideas about heaven . . . Maggie asked me if Jack would go to heaven . . . . I told her that I don't think he will go to heaven and that she will have to talk to her mom about it . . . these kids were completely precious . . . they said some of the most thoughtful things, I wrote some of them down so that i could tell Kathleen everything tomorrow . . . .

Kathleen was SOOOOOO upset . . . so incredibly upset . . . she was thanking her brother for taking care of the dog . . .asking him if the hole was very deep. . . . she was so sad that the dog was going to be "cold" outside all night. Everynight, he had slept in the bed !!!!! She was so upset that she wasn't home (guilty) that she could have protected him . . . .

I LOVED that dog so much !!!!!! I brought him to my house - he LOVED icecream . . . I gave him icecream sometimes . . . today he wanted icecream and I didn't give him any !!!!!! But it's okay . . . . I'm not letting myself feel guilty or anything . . . the dog knew that I loved him . . . . it all just happened so damn quick . . . .

It could have been one of the kids !!!! That's actually what Randy and Pat thought when they heard the scream !!!!

BRING MY DOG HOME
Chapter 3

AN EMAIL TO JAPAN
Chapter 4

do you know that I was very fond of kathleen's dog named jack. today he got hit by a car. Maggie saw it happen. Maggie SCREAMED and SCREAMED. She wailed. She cried. She said so many things. She is so precious. Holly just watch everything. Holly fell asleep and then later she woke up and said many precious things to me. Jack was like a brother to Shane. Shane was very upset, he locked himself in the bathroom for a little while.

i pick jack up off the road and get his blood all over me. I had to get him off the street. His body was shaking. I put him on the grass and then I go and stay with the kids. Randy and Kathleen's brother SAID that they bury Jack in the garden . . . .

Both Maggie and Shane very upset. Holly just watching. Maggie and Shane can compose themselves . . . strangers came into the house and they stop crying !!

Randy went to the airport to pick up kathleen and rachel.

That when I learn that Randy and Kathleen brother DID NOT bury Jack. They actually just throw him away in some garbage somewhere !!!!!!!!

kathleen thinking they bury the dog. Kathleen worry that Jack is cold outside !!!! She thank her brother for burying jack in the garden !!!!!!!!!

HOW can I tell the truth ?????? There was nothing I could do. I was busy worry about the kids. Maybe I should have let Randy take care of the kids and I should have take care of Jack !!!! I loved that little dog. We know that so many people DIDN"T like Jack. Kathleen brother HATED Jack. He was NOT the person that should have taken care of Jack's body !!!!! Kathleen will be so upset if she find out !!!!

We all cried together. Me, kathleen and the kids . . . but Randy and Kathleen's brother did not. Kathleen's father and her brother hated the dog. They were starting to get mean to the dog. They would not be so mean when Kathleen was there but this weekend they were getting so mean to him. Oh, I loved that dog. I wish I could have saved him !!!!!!

I try to think differently. It's okay. he had a very good life. he was loved by the best - maggie and shane and kathleen, me and jayme - even HOLLY !!!!

Holly told me that sometimes she hated jack - I said, many people hated Jack but I always loved him and Holly said - "me too." She actually really loved him !!!!!

I hope tomorrow, Kathleen will come here and we can walk. It will be very sad without Jack.


ANNIE PUT JACK IN THE CONER
Chapter 5

ANNIE WHY DID YOU KILL JACK?
Chapter 6